14 Jan 2012


Submitted by Stephen Winters

this article is in the beginning phases

Friendship with the world is enmity with God


People who are truly trying to change their life remove themselves from people and friends that draw them astray. If you are trying to hang onto friends ... then are you truly trying to change.


A true friend will tell people the truth.

Not even Jesus tried to be a friend with everyone.

There is a difference of being a friend to people who want to change versus trying to be a friend to people who will try to draw you into their lifestyle.


What does it mean to be a friend?

Are we supposed to be friends with everyone?

What was Jesus' example. Did he try to be friends with everyone?

there is a difference between being friendly and being a friend.

"Bill Gothard, in his Institute in Basic Youth Conflicts, has identified four "Levels of Friendship". They are (1) acquaintance, (2) casual friend, (3) close friend, and (4) intimate friend.1"

here is another

Gisele Nelson identifies her levels of friendships as "shared experiences", "shared ideas", "shared souls"2 She goes on to say that "Sometimes I think there’s a gaping hole between ideas and souls."


Aristotle had other ideas about friendship

"Aristotle divides friendships into three types, based on the motive for forming them: friendships of utility, friendships of pleasure and friendships of the good.
Friendships of utility are relationships formed without regard to the other person at all. Buying merchandise, for example, may require meeting another person but usually needs only a very shallow relationship between the buyer and seller. In modern English, people in such a relationship would not even be called friends, but acquaintances (if they even remembered each other afterwards). The only reason these people are communicating is in order to buy or sell things, which is not a bad thing, but as soon as that motivation is gone, so goes the relationship between the two people unless another motivation is found. Complaints and quarrels generally only arise in this type of friendship.
At the next level, friendships of pleasure are based on pure delight in the company of other people. People who drink together or share a hobby may have such friendships. However, these friends may also part—in this case if they no longer enjoy the shared activity, or can no longer participate in it together.
Friendships of the good are ones where both friends enjoy each other's characters. As long as both friends keep similar characters, the relationship will endure since the motive behind it is care for the friend. This is the highest level of philia, and in modern English might be called true friendship.
"Now it is possible for bad people as well [as good] to be friends to each other for pleasure or utility, for decent people to be friends to base people, and for someone with neither character to be a friend to someone with any character. Clearly, however, only good people can be friends to each other because of the other person himself; for bad people find no enjoyment in one another if they get no benefit." (1157a18–21)
Not all bonds of philia involves reciprocity Aristotle notes. Some examples of these might include love of father to son, elder to younger or ruler to subject. Generally though, the bonds of philia are symmetrical."3

Add new comment

Recent content

Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters
Stephen Winters